Does your Small wake up the moment they come into contact with their cot? If that’s a hard yes, you aren’t alone - I don’t call it the bed bomb for nothing!
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If changes aren’t working it can feel like you’re failing or doing it all wrong, but change is challenging even the caring way! And you aren’t failing OR doing it wrong if it’s not working right now.
Here’s 10 things to consider when change isn’t happening:
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I get asked this question a lot so here’s the full falling asleep down-low for you!
When it comes to falling asleep there’s two really important things:
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It REALLY sucks when your Small is sick, and it can steal their sleep!
If they’re in discomfort it disrupts their sleep. Just as it does ours! It’s so tough and tiring, but it’s usually only temporary.
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Your first part of the night is most commonly the more settled part. This is because your Small’s sleep hormone melatonin level is at its highest, and homeostatic sleep drive (sleep pressure) is very high. I can’t guarantee your Small won’t wake up, but they’re usually settled fairly swiftly and easily if they do!
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I want you to know that frequent wake-ups aren’t your fault and there’s rarely only one reason behind them.
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There can be many reasons why your Small is waking frequently at night, but if they’re waking up super frequently it COULD be a red flag there’s an underlying issue disturbing their sleep.
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Does your Small pinch, pull or scratch your hair, skin or body part to sleep? If that’s an oh ouch yes, you aren’t alone. I’ve seen mole, nipple, ear, and lip twiddling in practice! This isn’t a bad habit or negative sleep association, and if it’s working for you and your Small you don’t need to stop.
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If your two year old’s sleep is unsettled, I hope it reassures you that you aren’t alone, it’s never too late to make changes, Toddlers find sleep tricky too!
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The three bed biggies for your toddler at this stage are:
Their nap needs can change.
They might be ready to cap their nap.
Some sleep separation can start.
The three bed biggies for your baby at 12 months are:
Their nap times might need tweaking.
They might be ready to transition to one nap.
Their physical development is in overdrive and many start walking around this time!
There’s a LOT of physical changes going on at this stage. It’s likely they’ll start to crawl, pull themselves up or even walk! As they grow they may be able to manage more awake time during the day. With their new fun and unfamiliar skills they might find it harder to switch off at bedtime and want to practice their new skills at night. This is tiring but very normal!
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Your baby’s sleep changes all the time because they’re changing all the time! I think it’s a sensible idea to check in on their sleep regularly. But around six months is a great time to do this because there’s some big changes happening at this stage!
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It’s totally normal for your baby’s sleep to be up and down (erratic!) around the four month progression. But of course knowing this doesn’t make it ANY less tough or tiring for you both, or stop you from getting into that 3am scroll hole searching for the secret to sleep.
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Your fourth trimester isn’t the time to worry about setting up your new baby’s sleep or making any bad bed habits (none at any age). This is because your baby is born naturally nocturnal (EVERY baby is!) and trying to set up a sleep or nap schedule can feel more frustrating than freewheeling with it. Sleep can be a little erratic at this age and stage and that’s totally normal, but hearing this doesn’t make it any less tough or tiring for you of course!
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I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that a sleep crisis is not only tough and tiring it can leave you feeling totally overwhelmed.
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Many parents will reach the point where they just want to scream HELP! from the mountain tops, and if you’re at that point, then having an experienced hand guide you through the process of making changes to your Small’s Sleep - with care - can have a completely transformative effect.
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Moving your baby into their own bedroom is a biggie. It’s a biggie for your baby, it’s a biggie for YOU, and it’s normal for you to have conflicting emotions about it!
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There's often a LOT of sleep shame and stigma about bringing your Small into your bed at night. But this is most certainly not the case, especially on my approach!
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