How to stop feeding to sleep
IF you want to gently stop breastfeeding to sleep but you’re not sure where to start this is your first step…..
Put on their last layer of pjs or sleeping bag after their breastfeed!
Steps to stop breastfeeding to sleep at night:
Run through your normal bedtime routine.
Breastfeed to sleep as usual- it’s ok if they fall asleep!
Put on their babygro, pyjama bottoms or sleeping bag.
There are three possible outcomes:
If they don’t wake up, don’t worry. This can happen at the start! It’s all practice, so try again the next night.
If they wake up or rouse, give them the chance to cuddle/rock all the way to sleep.
If they get upset when cuddling/rocking and it’s clear they need the breast again, feed them all the way to sleep. It’s not a failure, just not the night for them to try!
How does this help stop breastfeeding to sleep??
What we’re doing here is instead of stopping the breastfeed, which can be stressful and a big change for both of you, we’re:
introducing doing something different around falling asleep where all change begins!
slowly shifting the breastfeed up the bedtime routine and getting what I call a boobie break- a small gap in between breastfeeding and falling asleep.
getting curious and seeing if we get a chance to practice doing that last little bit of falling asleep without the boob.
slowly supporting them to accept another way of falling asleep other than the breast.
How does this progress from here?
If they accept cuddling or rocking to sleep for that final bit, you can try:
Introducing something else after the boob before you cuddle/rock to sleep - this could be singing a song, reading a quick book or even brushing their teeth.
bringing the boob slightly earlier in the routine to give you a bigger boobie break. This slowly shifts you towards more rocking/cuddling and less boob.
Why you might love this approach?
It feels like you aren’t actually changing too much at once.
You can keep boobing in your bedtime routine - it’s still pretty much the last thing you’re doing.
It slowly gives you both the confidence to settle to sleep in a different way before building up to a bigger change (if you need to!)
It’s a small enough change that, done over time, could make a big difference.
A few final things…
This isn’t a magic hack or a strategy that will work for every single Small.
Sometimes it might need tweaking slightly to work for you both.
It will take time to see if it works -
I’d suggest doing this for 10-14 days consistently. If after this they aren’t giving you a chance to settle them in another way there’s other options.
If it doesn’t work for you it’s not because you are doing something wrong or aren’t being consistent enough- it’s just not the approach for you both.
If you need more help with stopping breastfeeding to sleep my bedtime boundaries ecourse talks you through all the steps you need to stop without crying it out.
Need more support with supporting your child to fall asleep alone?
My bedtime boundaries course talks you through all the steps you need to move away from feeding, rocking or patting to sleep to your child falling asleep alone in their sleep space
And FYI there’s no talk of sleep training or leaving them to cry themselves to sleep.
